Power

I stand here looking at you sitting in that chair. Just like so many times before. How many nights have you sat there and I stood here? I’ve stood here feeling small and young, afraid, angry, bitter, hurt. Not today. Never again. I stand here with my head up, I breathe deeply, I can feel adrenaline flowing through my veins, this is a familiar situation with such a new twist that I can’t stop that rush. But externally, I remain calm. You don’t have any power over me anymore. I’m more logical than either of you. I’m mentally and emotionally more mature. I have more common sense and a much truer moral compass, mine’s pointing north, yours?

Even your sociopathic lies can’t stop me. When I was younger and tried this confrontation I couldn’t do it. Even last year he knew I couldn’t do it, but he told me that one day I may need to. I did it today. I was successful. Maybe you won’t change, but I don’t need you to. I’m done with you. I got my closure, and now, it is entirely up to me if you’ll ever get yours. I took your power. I never have to listen to your slurred words or your hatred again. I can move on and not fear returning; I don’t have to return. I don’t have to hold on to any resentment or soul crushing bitterness. I can embrace that hurt little girl. I took your power.

I still hold frustrations, there are some regrets and that hidden optimist inside of me has hope. But I have the power. I can stand tall and calm and smooth. Like when I was on that ladder. I won’t ever let you push me down again. So sit in that chair, watch me walk away with my head up. Watch me stride confidently into the future, notice I’m not limping, notice I’m not glancing back over my shoulder. You can still earn my respect. I hope you do. But I’m not placing anything more than that on it. I don’t need to respect you, I respect me.